Super Habit #8: Build Positive Relationships

We’re winding our way down to the last of the Super Habits. I do hope you’ve enjoyed this long-term series. Super Habit #8 is just as important as any of the others. It’s simple. Build positive relationships.

Know When to Cut the Cord

Before we build positive relationships, we need to get rid of the people who are downers in our lives. I know sometimes this is very hard to do, and in some cases even impossible (because they are family), but we can still let some shit go. Here’s a list of people to stay away from if possible:

  1. People who put you down: Nobody needs to feel insulted on a regular basis. If you have a friend or acquaintance who always talks bad about you, get rid of them. Find ways to spend less time with that person, and then phase them out.
  2. People who lie to you: I hate liars! When people lie to you it creates stress and turmoil. If you have a friend or family member who lies constantly, do your best to spend as little time as possible with them.
  3. People who are always negative: When your friend is a Debbie-downer, it will rub off. We can all be negative at times. After all, I’ve written my share of negative shit, but when someone is constantly negative, it’s time to move on.
  4. People who are manipulative: Some people only want something from you. Whether it’s money, access to another person, or your talent, they only befriend you to manipulate you into getting the things they want. And they won’t stop short of emotional blackmail. Ditch ’em.
  5. People who are jealous of you: Envy and jealousy are negative traits. It’s okay if someone looks up to you. But if they’re jealous, they may begin to sabotage your work and your life in an attempt to get what you’ve already earned. Stay away!

Of course we could find more categories of negative people, but I think you get the idea. You also can instinctually tell when a person in your life has positive traits.

Keep Positive People Close

Now that we’ve discussed the problem people, remember to nurture your positive relationships.

I have a handful of good friends. I make a point to continue to build those friendships. And when I meet somebody new who has positive traits, I remain ready to start and build a new relationship.

Building positive relationships takes some work, but the number one thing that you need to do is this: Communicate.

Without good communication, any relationship will dwindle. Make a point to communicate with those who are positive influences in your life.

  • Make occasional phone calls, or send texts from time to time in order to stay in touch.
  • Make a point to meet in person on occasion in order to keep the relationship strong.
  • Don’t be a taker. Every positive relationship requires a combination of give and take. Have something to give. It can be as simple as praise. Or you could share your talent, or just buy lunch.
  • Be a good listener. Don’t just talk about yourself. Listen to others. Be sincerely interested in what is important to them and you will be more accepted by them.

Building positive relationships is essential to your potential success. You never know which one of the relationships you build might pay out greatly. That one friend who is working to become a lawyer or an accountant might play a crucial role in your own journey to success.

Keep Super Habit #8 close to your heart. Build positive relationships. No matter what happens in life, you’ll always benefit from having good friends and acquaintances.