The Secret to Having More Self-Confidence

Do you want to have more self-confidence and determination in life? Do you want to accomplish more? You can start by changing one simple thing about the way that you think. Let me explain…

When we struggle to accomplish something in life, we have two choices. We can choose to take control or give it up.

Confidence Grows When We Shift Our Locus of Control

Imagine this. You write a book. You self-publish. Then you do your best to sell your book. But you barely sell any copies at all. How do you respond?

You could say, “It wasn’t my fault. It was the market’s fault. It crashed right after I published. No one was buying books. By the time the market picked up, my book was old and forgotten.”

This is an example of an external locus of control. That’s when we blame outside forces for our own problems and failures. When we take this route, we limit ourselves and become less likely to succeed in the future.

On the other hand, you could respond like this: “I didn’t do my research before I published. I didn’t take the time to network with others and create a strong book launch. Next time, I’ll make a point to do more research and networking.”

This is an example of an internal locus of control. Instead of blaming your weak book sales on outside forces, you check your own behaviors and make corrections.

How to Shift Your Locus of Control

  1. You need to become a high self-monitoring individual. In other words, you have to be willing listen to the most honest voice inside your own head. When you catch yourself blaming something or someone else for anything, be willing to critically reevaluate the situation. You might just discover that the fault is your own.
  2. You need to accept responsibility. Once you realize that you are to blame for a given situation or outcome, you have the opportunity to accept your failure and try again. When you try again, you’ll have new insights and a fresh attitude. This will build your self-confidence.
  3. Don’t backslide. It’s easy to return to old behaviors and start blaming outside forces again. Don’t. That negativity will only keep you from moving forward.

Here’s more about self-esteem, self-efficacy, and locus of control.

Now it’s time to practice this simple secret to self-confidence. Next time you find yourself casting blame on outside forces, check yourself. Perhaps it’s you. If so, you have the power to control your outcomes by taking personal responsibility.

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